Win-Win Negotiations – Is it a real possibility?

By Sherri Malouf, PhD - CEO of Strategic Soft Skills Institute

At Strategic Soft Skills Institute, we have trained negotiation skills globally across a variety of industries for over 40 years.  We like to be practical. We like to make sure that what we talk about is relevant for a wide range of situations, industries, cultures, and skill levels.

Several decades ago, the idea of “win-win negotiation” was being pushed by several thought leaders including Roger Fisher and William Ury from Harvard Business School, the Harvard Negotiation Project, and Stephen Covey in relation to the 7 Habits of Highly Successful People, just to name a few. In fact, Covey suggested win-win or no deal.

I would like to revisit this notion again as I would like to focus on a negotiation that is overall very friendly and cooperative.

What Can Actually Derail a Cooperative Negotiation?

The “us versus them” mentality can create a challenging negotiation. Let’s say that you have a position and you know what you want. It is very different from what they want. Does this automatically mean that there is an “us versus them” mentality? Logically, you would think so, but why? So what if both parties have different positions, wouldn’t it be better to problem solve?  In most situations there are multiple paths to a solution. What steers someone more towards “us versus them” rather than problem solving? Well, that would be trust, or rather the lack thereof.

Long-term relationships and history can sometimes make cooperative negotiations a challenge. For example, can a leopard change its spots? What if you and your negotiation partner have a history that has been somewhat complex and not all positive? What if, historically, trust has been absent in your relationship? Then, you start this current negotiation and the behavior of your negotiation partner has changed dramatically. Can you forget history and trust the other party?

That’s not a reasonable expectation. What needs to be done is that you put contingencies in place as a way of building trust. You create agreed-upon milestones and expectations.

Numbers are a small part of most agreements, while the remainder of the agreement’s purpose is to build trust and security. Even in very competitive negotiations, such as commodity buying with single source vendors. The vendor has all of the power and is using a “take it or leave it” tactic. You can still work to build the relationship, to discover needs, and uncover currencies of exchange that are attractive.

It's good to spend time planning all types of negotiations, even cooperative ones. Always be very clear on what you want, which is the easy part. You also need to spend some time considering the other party’s needs, your needs, and how to satisfy everybody. In fact, the true beauty of win-win negotiations is that it is possible to exceed everyone’s expectations. That does require trust.